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| over a year without an "emo kid who needs livejournal because she cant afford a shrink" moment-go me |
[25 Jun 2008|03:13am] |
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random fans around the office buzzing away... |
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so i'm nuts. really... just truly crazy. i have found pretty much the most amazing boyfriend ever-or rather he found me. i'm happy-really happy. but i am SCARED SHITLESS!!! like... you don't even know how scared. more terrified than if a pack of stempeding deer was heading straight for me (and we all know how much i hate deer). i keep having these terrible nightmares of brian leaving me or random other girls moving into our apartment and i just wake up to find them there and they're just mean for no reason. now... this isn't going to happen in real life, and i know that. but i just have this consuming fear of losing him for absolutely no reason. i mean- this kid's seen it all-the good, the bad, the ugly, the hormonal... i mean everything and he hasn't even shown a HINT of running for the hills. and he tells me its not happening. he assures me a million times he's not going anywhere. so why the FUCK am i having nightmares about him being awful to me and leaving me.
...head karma for all the crappy boyfriends i've been an asshole to? ...who knows, but i'd really like it to stop-pronto!
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[05 Jun 2007|12:24am] |
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mood |
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music |
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sufjan stevens: to be alone with you |
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The first man was beautiful
But too drunk and too old
He satisfied my cravings
So young and so bold
I gave him my body
I gave him my heart
He let his mother
Tear me apart.
The next man was successful
But too dull and too nice
He tried to give me fire
While I put him on ice
I gave him a chance
I gave him an out
He fucked my friend
Who used him, no doubt
The next man was innocent
But his past made him scared
He never once hurt me
In the life that we shared
I gave him my best
I gave him my future
He cut me so deep
I bled through the sutures
The next man I used
But he didn’t care
Neither felt anything
But orgasm and despair
I gave him some scratches
I gave him a moan
He kept me alive
While I was feeling alone
The next man was silent
Too cool and too coy
Turns out this man
Was a scared little boy
I gave him a challenge
I gave him a fight
He gave me empty promises
But he stayed through the night
The next man was accommodating
But too eager and kind
He knew I was jaded
But paid it no mind
I gave him some memories
I gave him some fun
He would have given me anything
But I’d come undone
How many men
Will pass through this heart?
Which ones will I keep?
Which will I tear apart?
This last man is genius
Too good and too smart
This man has my devotion
This man has my heart
I give him my enthusiasm
My passion, my steam
He gives me a place
In his life and his dream.
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| what else can you do when you're feeling emo.... |
[24 May 2007|02:26am] |
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mood |
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music |
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the first train: gruvis malt |
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...but write in your livejournal...
take the first train out of town
out of here, back home
your house may be clean
your dinner ready at six
but if you saw what we see
you'd know your love's not sound
so take the first train out of town
out of here, back home
back, back to me
"the first train" [gruvis malt]
...who says "i love you lovey" and celebrates 26 month anniversaries?! ...sriously!
...i've gotta stop doing this to myself. =/
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[09 Jan 2007|08:23pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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music |
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eisley: brightly wound |
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the next person who tells me how awesome i am then proceeds to treat me like complete shit will incur my wrath...
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| woo... |
[28 Dec 2006|05:59pm] |
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music |
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the shins: we become silhouettes (cover) |
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[24 Dec 2006|01:06pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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stupid christmas carols |
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its christmas eve and all i really want to do is sit alone and cry about all the crap i've been holding off on crying about...
merry fucking christmas.
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[23 Dec 2006|02:46pm] |
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mood |
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 UGH! |
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music |
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natalie merchant: ophelia |
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do it, you won't...
life is really lame right now... bah humbug!
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[16 Oct 2006|07:43am] |
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mood |
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sick |
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music |
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the dandy warhols: get off |
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so basically i feel like i'm dying... great weekend though.
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[12 Oct 2006|12:51am] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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music |
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the colour: bearded lady |
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i just don't know how i feel about a man who isn't down with mr. bojngles...
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| loooooove iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttt......... |
[06 Oct 2006|09:11pm] |
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mood |
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 optimistic |
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music |
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ryan adams: wonderwall (cover) |
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the times union did a story about the barn- and that makes me smile.
A barn raising for growing the arts
Group wants to start an artsincubator building in Albany
By DANIELLE FURFARO, Staff writer
Click byline for more stories by writer.
First published: Thursday, October 5, 2006
ALBANY -- Anyone familiar with the term "barn raising" knowns that it's about more than just building a structure. It's about building community.
That sense of community is the main premise behind the Albany Barn, a new creative arts incubator formed to help assist Capital Region artists and musicians.
"There are a lot of people here working very actively to create local work," said Jeffrey Mirel, head organizer of the nonprofit. "We wanted to do something that really created a home for some of the arts going on in Albany."
Now, after nearly two years of organizing concerts, gallery shows and benefits with its sister organization Rock2Rebuild, the Albany Barn is working on creating another kind of home -- an actual structure where artists can live, work and play.
For the past few months, Mirel has been working with the Albany Housing Authority to identify a large building that could be turned into a combination artist loft space/performance venue. One building he is considering is the former St. Joseph's Academy, a 36,000-square-foot structure on North Swan Street in the heart of Arbor Hill.
"The biggest problem right now with the Albany arts scene, that I hear all the time, is we need space to perform and space to display," said Mirel. "And there is a marketing problem. But there is no dearth of talent."
The Albany Housing Authority has commissioned a feasibility study for the building and found that it has three possible uses -- artist loft space, senior housing or regular housing.
"What we are trying to do with North Swan Street is turn it around," said Darren Scott, HOPE VI coordinator for the authority. "Five years ago, it was known for drug dealing and shootings. Now it's pretty quiet and we don't want that element to creep back in."
Since plans for the Barn are not yet finalized and the building will need a good deal of renovation, it will most likely be months before anyone could move any or any shows will be hosted at the locale. But Mirel is anticipating that the living units will be an average of 743 square feet, some will have terrace access and off-street parking will be available.
Mirel recently sent out calls for applications to get a feel for how many people would be interested and received about 70 responses.
Albany photographer and stylist Erin Pihlaja said living in an artist loft space would make it much easier for her to be successful in her field.
"To have a work and living space as a coop is the only way I can afford to do it," said Pihlaja, 29. "At this point, in order to house all my styling equipment, I'd have to go to work for someone else."
Mirel has taken his inspiration for the building project from AS220, a 21-year-old artist collective in Providence, R.I. That group started from humble beginnings, hosting concerts and shows at abandoned buildings.
"The idea was to create an unjuried, uncensored environment for artists to present their work in any medium," said Umberto Crenca, artistic director of AS220.
Over the years, AS220 has evolved into a well-known force that has contributed to the increase of high culture in the Providence area. That organization now owns two building in the city, including one that has everything from artist lofts and teaching spaces to a barber shop and cafe.
"This was a completely abandoned block," said Crenca. "We represented a kind of rare hope here. In terms of culture and vitality and hope, I'd like to think AS220 was kind of like the pilot light."
Furfaro can be reached at 454-5097 or by e-mail at dfurfaro@timesunion.com.
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[12 Sep 2006|06:06pm] |
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i kind of feel like dying...
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[04 Sep 2006|10:48pm] |
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music |
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jim croce: new york's not my home |
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i just watched jessica simpson attempt to sing "fly" by pattyu griffin and i almost vomited...
worst. idea. ever.
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[12 Aug 2006|08:36pm] |
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jack johnson: good people |
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i really need to stop being envious of the things others have and start appreciating the things i have...
and i told dan where he could go stick it today. that felt nice. :)
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[12 Aug 2006|12:42am] |
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je suis tres triste...
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[08 Jul 2006|08:01pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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rufus wainwright: beauty mark |
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i want to cry and i have absolutely no reason as to why.... i'm not even sad. crazy business...
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[30 Jun 2006|08:09pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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afi: miss murder |
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love is blind. love is not a blind date!!!
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[23 Jun 2006|06:17pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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violent femmes: american music |
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okay, so for whatever reason the subject of marriage has been brought up like 32095739486984 times in the last week, and while the idea quite frankly scares me a bit, i suppose it's not a bad idea to be thinking ahead and such. soooo.... i'd been talking with meg and shelly about who i was going to have give me away [since i was most definitely not letting my daddy do it] and i've always wanted it to be my uncle joe... buuuuut... i also always thought i'd get married at kind of a young age, but now since i'm twenty and haven't had a serious boyfriend in well over a year, and since uncle joe is alreay eighty-two [he's my great uncle for those of you who are confused.] and not in the best health ever. it makes me absolutely miserable to think that he may not be around to see me get married, but i suppose i need to think of an alternative incase that is that case. so i was talking with greg today and thinking about who i could ask. i was thinking one of my brothers [after madison told me that she was having randy give her away], but i don't think either of them would go against my father and do it for me, so then i considered my guy friends. paul just isn't right... he's protective of me and i love him to death, but...eh... you can't have someone give you away who at one point has or has wanted to get in your pants... so that reasoning also ruled out greg... [plus, he's not even very protective or anything of me] soooo... that only really left one person that i think would be absolutely perfect! my little alex!!! i think it's kind of perfect becuase he is really important to me and i definitely see him like the little brother i never had... so i'm going to ask when i see him tomorrow if he would consider it. i know it's like waaaaayyyy off in the future and an odd request to make of him, but i figure if i get him to agree now that will be one thing he will have to be around for and it will absolutely force us to keep in touch even after he goes away to school. [becuase i know how easy it is to lose touch with people after highschool, adn quite frankly i'd be terribly sad if alex and i ever stopped speaking!] so that concludes my ridiculously unnecessary marriage rant...
[oh and erica, not that i think you would, but if you happen to see alex before me, don't say anything about it to him! thanks! :)]
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[18 Jun 2006|03:43pm] |
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mood |
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corey hart: sunglasses at night |
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okay so friday night was my birthday bash. it was a good time. it was so good to see all my sisters and my CU crew! i've missed them tons! tdan didn't end up coming,a dn i was kinda sad, but he called me twice throughout the night, so at least he was thinking about me i suppose. i keep trying to enforce to him that we have a looooooot to talk about before things can be "better than before" but i feel like he isn't taking me completely seriuously. oh, and i told him that i would rather come see him than have him come here, and he didn't have a problem with it, so i'm pretty happy about that. back to my party... oh what a fucking shit show! i started smoking somewhere around 5:00 and the beer came out around 7:00, so i was pretty shitty by like 10:30. haha. my poor twinpants got stuck in traffic and didn't end up getting into town until like 1:30 and a lot of people had already gone to bed b.c some people had to leave early and work the next morning. smashley showed up and surprised the shit out of everyone! i was soooo happy! then her and curt downed a bottle of pinot grigio and things got pretty sloppy! haha. we ended up at denny's and andrew was our waiter!!! i heart my nacho boy! [but i wish shelly could have been there] oh and rotch-o left him her number... and he actually called her... twice. haha. oooh good ole andrew... but yeah, so madison and kris decided to stay the whole weekend with me, which was awesome,. but i had to work last night and tonight so i wasn't much of a hostess b.c i need sleep or i would never make it through an entire 11:30-8:00am shift! we dropped kris off at the trainstation around 1:30 and madison just left a little bit ago, so now i think i need a nap before work tonight! ♥
OH! and if anyone took pics at my party... send those ASAP! thanks! :)
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[11 Jun 2006|03:33pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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autopilot off: exit signs |
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yesterday was chris hughes' 32nd birthday. i miss him!
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[09 Jun 2006|02:08pm] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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music |
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the aquabats: lovers of loving love |
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someone should buy me a ticket to go see the aquabats at saratoga winners on monday... since it is my birthday and all! pleeeeeeeeeease?!
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